Vive la France!

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I’ve been reading a bit of history (get over it, I’m smarter than you are.) recently and I began to wonder why the US has considered the United Kingdom to be their closest ally seemingly forever.  After all we (the US, I mean) fought two wars against Britain (and kicked their ass both times even though Britain was supposedly unbeatable at the time).  Britain is also the only country that ever attacked the continental US (we beat their ass that time as well).  At the same time the French were allies against Britain even sending their army and navy over to help us beat the British asses, and probably saved us in the Revolutionary War (that’s the Colonial War in North America for the limeys here).  France is a republic, and has been for a long time now, while the UK is still a detestable hereditary monarchy.  Other than a mostly common language, why is Britain considered our big buddy?

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General Lafayette

I really think France should be celebrated as the United States’ closest and best ever ally, not the UK.  I’m liking that.  France gave us the Statue of Liberty too.  What did Britain ever give us except onerous taxes, no representation, killing a bunch of us, and burning down the White House too.  Well, there is Dr. Who.  So I still say screw the UK and Vive la France!

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As a side note, I live near a place where the Battle of Great Cane Brake was in 1775.  There were no British soldiers just loyalists-Tories and Americans (he, he).  It wasn’t a big battle but it is in most books.  The Americans were sick of having all their crops and livestock impressed for the British.  They ambushed the loyalists and ran ’em off.  Good riddance to bad rubbish I say.  They celebrate it every year with a re-enactment.  I like seeing all the loyalists laying on the ground at the end.  Oh, and I don’t live too far from Kings Mountain and Cowpens and we roughed up the cowardly Bloody Tarleton and his loyalist rabble there too.  So when somebody says that the British are our best ally, I think:  when did some French guy ever try to kill an American on American soil?  The French and Indian wars don’t count because they were fighting the wretched British back then.  We colonists weren’t smart enough then to know which side our bread would soon be buttered on.  We still thought that loopy King liked us “subjects.”

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Digression #2.  My heritage is Scottish/Irish and a bit of Dane mixed in.  I have to think some wise-ass limey hereditary Dook or Lord was responsible for making my ancestors’ lives so unbearable that they felt they had to make a treacherous journey to some far flung wilderness in the New World just to survive.  This thought kind of bums me out as well.  I’ll get my bit of petty revenge though when the Scots vote to bail out of the whole wretched mess of hereditary monarchy soon.  I’m sure the rest of the Irish and the Welsh won’t be too far behind.  Then the British Isles will make the Balkans look like a collection of big countries.

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Hijacked

One thing that pisses me off is words that have been hijacked and/or rendered unusable by the ignorant politically correct crowd. These are perfectly good words that you might find in early 20th century or 19th century literature but have somehow been hijacked or otherwise consigned to the scrap heap of literature.

Hijacked Words:
Queer: queer used to denote odd, strange, or eerie. Somewhere along the way it was purloined to mean a homosexual, usually male. To use queer now in a sentence where the object is a person is to be perpetually misunderstood.

Gay: A gay person used to be a happy soul. The “gay” community stole the word to mean a homosexual of either gender but usually male. I hate particularly that this word was hijacked because it always was a useful synonym. To use gay in its original sense in a phrase is to almost always invite misunderstanding now.

Faggot: A faggot is a bundle of sticks period, as in “There’s a faggot in the woodpile.” to denote a thing out of place. I still use this word in its original sense just to piss people off.

Dike: an obvious hijack from its original meaning of a dam or seawall of some sort, as in: “Did you hear the one about the little Dutch boy who put his finger in the seawall to stop the flood? No but there’s nothing I like better than a good dike story.” He, he, he.

Tit: a tit is a bird. A teat is a mammary gland. ‘Nuff said.

To “come” is to arrive or journey to somewhere with a purpose, not an orgasm. I love to use this in a double entendre sense as well.

Corn hole: Where did the prurient sense of “corn hole” come from? It doesn’t make any sense. Corn hole is a bean bag game, like bean bag toss.

Words pc idiots have taken out of general usage since the stupid have misconstrued their real meaning:

Denigrate, to belittle. The obvious misunderstanding I attribute to the flaws in our education system.

Probably the worst misunderstood word in the English language is “niggardly.” It means miserly and always did. It was never applied in a racial sense, never. Again I blame the school system and the fact that even most teachers don’t read anything anymore. I have even heard of kids being chastised for its use, where in fact they should have been praised for their upscale vocabulary.

And finally, words that are just misused, gambit for gamut, could for couldn’t etc. These are just too countless to really go into.

Finally, a “safe deposit box” is an armored container in a vault. I’m not sure what a “safety deposit box” is, maybe some sort of container you put safety items in for a rainy day like ropes, reflectors, and flares. Look it up.