Dookie

?????????????????????When did it become a big deal to pick up dog crap?  When I was a kid nobody picked up dog poop, never, anywhere.    Nobody gave a crap, so to speak.  You just got a shovel and flung whatever ended up in your piece of God’s little acre into the street or in the hedgerow.  No big deal, good fertilizer.  Nobody went berserk if a person walking a dog left a crap in your yard.  After all we just looked after each other;  I put some in your yard and you put some in mine and we’re all cool.  If I didn’t have a dog, no big deal, after all I wasn’t actually picking it up like they do now.

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Civilization

One thing that was different is we lived in a civilized world years ago unlike suburbs and cities today.  We had sidewalks.  Everyplace had sidewalks not just the rich neighborhoods and they were on both sides of the street.  Even houses without driveways had sidewalks.  Big cities, little cities, suburbs you name it all had sidewalks.  The only place that didn’t have sidewalks was when you got out into the rural areas and nobody cares if a dog craps next to a cornfield.

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Doin’ the Business

Generally dogs only took a dump and peed on the easement especially since that’s where the trees and fire hydrants were.  As long as you later walked on the sidewalk and not on the easement between the sidewalk and curb you were immune from stepping in doggie-do.  Now all the housing developments are cheap, cheap, cheap and nobody has zoning laws anymore so there aren’t any sidewalks in newer places and therefore no easements.

Still what’s the big deal?  I think arguments about unsanitariness are bogus.  Once Fido blows corn in the park the grass in that general vicinity is now a no fly zone even if the turd gets removed.  Personally I like the missiles above ground since now I can see where the no fly zone is.  I have no idea if I’m sitting in Spot’s toidy if there aren’t any warning signs.

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Well what about the sewers?  What about them?  Aren’t they for, well, sewage.  Oh you mean the storm sewers.  They drain into creeks and lakes and rivers.  So?  Everything else does too.  Listen in the good ol’ days there were a lot of buffalo, wolf, coyote, dear, raccoon leavings washing into the creek so what’s a little more dog doo?  You want to swim in that river!  Whoa, are you putting e. coli on the menu?  Even before Fido relieved himself there was still all that “natural” dookie we talked about in the pond plus whatever sewage washed in from the streets and highways and yards after the last storm even without some dog feces.  What about that?  Not to mention that Junior just let go as soon as you dipped him in that “clean” lake.  I just don’t swim in anything but a chlorinated pool because I’m civilized not like you cave dwellers that wanna play Tom Sawyer in the Mississippi.

So I don’t care if your dog craps in my yard even if I don’t own a dog (and never will, I hate dogs), but I’m not telling you where I live either…

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One thought on “Dookie

  1. I was actually out walking the other day after I posted this and somebody had tacked down little laminated signs all over their garden that said “Please pick up your dog poop.” These were actually tacked flat to the ground like those gravestones nobody really wants for themselves. They looked worse than if you had the real deuce right there. If I’d had a dog I would have encouraged him to dump right on the sign and then leave a big ol’ brown smudge when I picked it up. That’s the kind of guy I am.

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